ANNOUNCING THE DULUTH SECESSION MOVEMENT

Free Duluth! Since the rest of the country is clearly batshit, we propose secession from it. Screw 'em. We got it all right here and we're keeping it. Reject the times, embrace your future as a citizen of the Free Republic of Duluth. Watch for a formal public declaration. Be a part of it! We need to finalize a name, design a flag, build a website, and elect a president and other governing officers. Make up your own office and run for it - we're free now to do as we wish. For Duluth President, I nominate Allen Richardson of the Gonzo Science party, running on a strict No Wierdos platform. Run your own candidate, make signs, flyers, bumper stickers, and buttons. Stay tuned for further announcements of contact info, official secession announcement, formal campaign launches, debate schedules, election date, and most importantly, parties. Preserve our unique culture from the cultural imperialism of our oppressors. All aboard! Next stop: freedom. Email gonzoscience@hotmail.com to help and/or declare your candidacy. And may God bless the Free Republic of Duluth.