I am Sorry.

In summary, I am thrilled that this is almost off the page. I would delete it but then I wouldn't be able to read the 43 commentary posts that are full of love, compassion and a deep-harbored contempt for others.

Sweeter than Baklava on Paul Lundgren's Ass Cheeks of Nectar, it is Today's Breaking News: Ephedra has been banned by the FDA.

After many people dropping dead, having heart attacks and/or excruciating pain all the while doctors were unsure, Ephedra has now been linked as the culprit and, thus, banned.

Now what is GNC going to try to sell us?

New Year's Eve?

Okay. Where are you amazing monsters partying? Being today the fifth season of Sex and the City comes out on DVD, I believe I shall be staying in this year. Otherwise I can allow my younger sister to financially sodomize me as she has offered to babysit for a bitter and dysfunctional discount price of $10.00 per hour.

The countdown continues...

It's hardly fair that a few days after the Cheat goes public, he achieves the honor of being the 5,000th visitor to my site.

But that's nothing. Within the next few hours, Perfect Duluth Day will have its 20,000th visitor. Keep tabs. You could be the one.

hollydazzle

use volume with this

Come on people.

We need to do more things like this in Duluth. Scroll down to the "Unsilent Night meets SantaCon" story.

Oh Yeah?

And I hated the movie Schizopolis.

The Cheat Comes Out Clean

Bloggers and blaugmenters who were unfortunate enough to have missed the Shaky Ray Bad Sweater party at Pizza Luce last Saturday also missed out on an unexpected event: the man we all love to hate, the Cheat, personally revealed his identity to anyone and everyone he suspected might have cared.

So, yes, Mr. Jonny Mac, some of us had you on our list of possible suspects. But I think you were pretty far down in most cases. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to interpretation.

Glad to see you had it in you.

13 for you.

In the spirit of a year ending I give you my favorite posts of the short PDD year. Feel free to reminisce, analyze, ridicule and enjoy. They are in no particular order of favoritism.

1. Punk Ass in Shop Class.
2. The Cool Air Feels Nice.
3. Miracle Mike.
4. Unidentified Flying Weiner.
5. Interview Chain.
6. Jump to Glory.
7. Memories.
8. I went to Minneapolis and all I got was this Broken Jaw.
9. How old is too old...
10. Hip Hop can be Poetry.
11. Give a little, get a lot.
12. One fine day in the Skywalk.
13. Lime Kitty.

you got to have goals

Carve Out the Non Compos Mentis.

A wise man once said, "If you don't post, you're toast." Now that it is post-Christmas, I haven't any love to give. I WANT SOMEONE removed WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T POST.

Thank you and happy new year.

Go Howard!

Howard Dean House Party.

Tuesday December 30th. | 7-9pm | Copper Top Church 230 E Skyline Pkwy.

For more info go to this webpage. I have only been to one Howard Dean house party before so it seems like a good time to try it again.

Professor Party Remnants - Y'all Rock and Stuff

And...my favorite.

Have to get it while the cartoon gettings still good.

Web Poll Results

Who would you want backing you up in a knife fight?

1. Santa [3 votes, 5.26%]
2. Jack Skellington [10 votes, 17.54%]
3. Yukon Cornelius [18 votes, 31.58%]
4. Frosty the Snowman [2 votes, 3.51%]
5. Hermy the Elf [7 votes, 12.28%]
6. Ebenezer Scrooge [4 votes, 7.02%]
7. Baby Jesus [3 votes, 5.26%]
8. Ralph "Ralphie" Parker [2 votes, 3.51%]
9. Cousin Eddie [6 votes, 10.53%]
10. Mary Hatch Bailey [2 votes, 3.51%]

yes...we had some fun

Merry Christmas and all of that

party at dick's tonite

holiday cheer

As I was putting on my coat to leave work yesterday, a co-worker asked what I was doing that night. I said my in-laws arrived in town, and I was probably going to be drinking whisky with my father in law.

The coworker said "What!?!?" in an astonished voice.

I repeated myself.

He said, "Oh. God. I thought you said you were going to be getting frisky with your father in law."

My favorite drive of the year.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah deck the halls and all that. I'm heading home in a couple hours and looking forward to a smooth drive and an overdose of Christmas music. I'll tune in RadioK till they go off the air at dark then just scan the radio dial for all the old faves. Just outside of Owatonna I will prolly play the Low Christmas record and as I cruise past Blooming Prairie I'll listen to the Gear Daddies. Ah traditions.

8 years ago or so I was driving home late on Christmas Eve through a snowstorm and when I was just outside of Austin I decided to take the back roads in. On a very deserted road I came across a car in the ditch that was mostly drifted over. I pulled over and realized that there were two young guys in the car who were cold and probably beginning to suffer from carbon monoxide poisining beacause of the snow drifting around the tail pipe. I woke them up, helped them into my car and called an ambulance.

I always wonder what would have happened if I had not gone home that way.

So have your selves some happy holidays. When family gets stressful take a walk or go see "Return of the King" for the 2nd or 3rd time. I'm home on Friday just in time for the bad sweater party at the Looch.

peace.

Professor Party Friday Night

I am going to have that party after all, 9pm-2am. Email me for the address. Hard to tell how this one will break: slow and intimate with nobody there, or big and wild with everybody there. I'm ready for anything.

Apparently I Get the Weird Ones This Holiday Season

Is there something about driving by someone's house that is considered romantic or enduring according to male folk? All I can say is it is not nice and it is an invasion of one's privacy. For all the men who have done this in the past, thinking it is great or cool...it is not.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

royale da.

before the newscaster poll ended, i Googled 'Royale Da' to find out who she was (cut me some slack, it's been almost two years since i've seen Duluth news).

instead, i found this page and the image above. the picture is so spooky it nearly gives me nightmares. it's like some sci-fi god of flame looming over the landscape. did someone say orange microdot?

Conspiracy Theory

The Orange Alert was instituted by the Christian Right as a last-ditch destraction effort. Obviously dismayed that America's attention is squarely focused on other things rather than King George's heroic capture of Saddam, the suit-wearing Jesus freaks are playing a slight-of-hand trick, using various crimes against humanity to capture our attention while they fight the real menace, a la John Harvey Kellogg.

Perhaps you didn't know: sex ... terrorism ... pretty much equal.

[Links via Blogumentary, Metafilter and Fark.]

America Under a Fricken Orange Alert Yet Again

wtf this is happening again

I am pretty tired of the alert thing. CNN is requesting people "don't panic" or "let it ruin your holiday season..." however, what is with the constant state of fear that the news media hopes people have? Cripes already.

Poll Results

For whom would you wrestle a giraffe?

Stacy Eckes [2 votes, 8%]
Kim Kaiser [3 votes, 12%]
Royale Da [16 votes, 64%]
Erin Jordan [4 votes, 16%]

these babes really know how to partay!

i luv the holly daze!

Transistor Magazine

I guess I'm out of the loop somewhat as I have no idea what this is. Does anyone have the skinny? I noticed that the mailing address is the Ripsaw office.

Administration Briefings

OK, I've got a few items of business to bring up and then it's back to the fun.

- All you Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bangs who don't have a picture over on the left-hand column should send one to me. Trust me, everyone wants to see you. You're pretty.

- I'd like to encourage everyone--bloggers, blaugmenters, and lurkers alike--to please send suggestions for the cruise director to julie@perfectduluthday.com It's lookin' pretty sparse over there, but it has the potential to become a great resource for people looking for fun things to do.

- The PDD Store is open to sell your items. E-mail me for details.

- Anyone who would like to take a crack at a new logo design for the top of the page, please do. It would be cool to change that now and then.

Lastly, we are very close to our 20,000th hit! And 95% of the hits we get these days come from people actually looking for us, not just for skinny-dipping pics. Congratulations. This is only the beginning.

oh.

Dear Jennifer,
Here is your horoscope
for Friday, December 19:

Go ahead. Make a spectacle of yourself. Step out at a party or speak your love to someone that deserves it. A feeling of comfort removes all inhibitions, while a good friend prevents you doing anything you'll regret.
I will. Diced tomatoes, I love you more and more everyday I eat you. And Chris, yes you, Lumpy G you delicious stack of pancakes, I think you are neat.

Party Opportunity

I have been having regular Friday night BYOB parties at my fabulous apartment. Hundreds of action figures are on display, as well as the incomparable Gonzo Science library. These parties start at 9 PM and go til around @ 2AM. They have been small and large. They are a little like salons. Various members of Duluth's incestuous rock and roll intelligentsia scene have attended to plot the takeover of the world.

I am squeamish about posting my address but email me and I will give you directions. It is right up the street from Sir Ben's so it's all central and stuff. Sorry for the late notice. But if you can't make this one they are weekly.

Holiday Hootenanny Causes Breakdown

okay. i am going through the holiday season and I am rather lonely. I admit it. People need people.

I sit here at this office all day long. I get collect calls from prison inmates and when I deny the charges because my boss is out of the office and I am not supposed to accept the collect calls when he is out, I then get a flood of people calling me with southern drawls saying "I am Mr. Jones' fiancee and you keep denying the charges on his *&%^ collect call...now DO I NEED TO COME UP THERE OR WHAT? What the %$#@ is your problem?"

I am at a loss for words. My problem is this.

Sweet Jesus

Okay. I have finally figured things out. I would like to say thank you to the little people who tried to help and the bigger people who laughed. Nah nah nah nah nah.


Is it just me or has Tom Berenger's acting jobs gone downhill at a rather Kamikazee pace? Share your thoughts.

it's strange that...

new people post here, but don't end up with their pictures on the sidebar.

and also, that new people end up on the sidebar but never post.

welcome PDD newbies! introduce yourself for those of us who are currently non-local...

speaking of which, i'll be back in Minnesota in just 8 days. you've all been warned.

just seeing if this works.

Good morning.

All the kewl kids are doing it...


You're a True Punk. You know that punk isn't all
about studded jackets and mohawks. If you're
political, you're actually informed. Most of
the stuff you love is from before the 80s,
though you know bands like Fugazi kept the
spirit going.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla





Also, Chollie is having a 2-4-1 sale on his bumper stickers today. Perfect gift idea. Speaking of gift ideas I drew my step-mum for X-mas. Any exciting gift ideas out there?

Finally this morning, WINTER IS HERE! Real snow that I really had to shovel and will hopefully be skiing on later. I knew this was going to be a good week.

Professor's in tha house

I'd like to give a shoutout to all my PDD homies I saw at the Chris Monroe art show. Y'all are keepin' it real.

Home Again.

Another short Low trip. This time in Chicago and Milwaukee. I finally got my Kranky mug. Thank you Joel.

I'm no Ca-chee.

Ok, so maybe Barrett Chase is not a yacht or a porn site, but:

Barrett Chase is a community.

and

Barrett Chase is a farmer.

Barrett Chase is also 31, and tonight we're gonna party like it's 1972.

Poll Results

What do you think of Jim Fetzer's JFK/Wellstone theories?

He's probably right [12 votes, 19.05%]
Somewhat plausible [28 votes, 44.44%]
Nutty as a fruitcake [23 votes, 36.51%]

When I was a teen, I thought my parents were uncool.

But obviously, I was wrong.
Just look at them. Sooo cool.

Circa 1967.

nothings fucked dude.

I am so sorry Mr. Chuck. Every wednesday we go bowling and usually we stop after 2 games. Tonight we opted for the third drunken game and we used our Blogger friends handles. I was "Chucks Blogumentary" and I am ashamed to admit that I bowled a "33." I promise I will do better next time. By the way, Space Waitress and the "Cheat" were represented by Ca-Chee and Barrett. I will leave it up to them to report their scores.

Good night. By the way I got off my wires today. It was brutal.

Let it snow.

Please Mr. Winter will you come back this year? See, I love to cross-country ski and without a blanket of that white stuff it is awfully hard to do. I want to enter the Mora Vasoloppet this year and I need to get a bunch of kilometers in before the 58K race. So send us one of those big blizzards like the one you sent to the East Coast, I'm ready.

thank you.

Home.

One of the best parts of coming home after a bit of travel is rediscovering the joy of routines. Getting up early, doing the dishes, making coffee, listening to music and surfing the precious morning away in cyberspace.

This made me laugh.

Gore endorses Dean Lieberman hit hard.


This picture cracks me up.

New Features!

Ok, folks. If you look over on the right, you'll notice two hot new Perfect Duluth Day features. The first is the self-explanatory PDD Store. The second is our Cruise Director Julie, who is here to announce the fun real-life events coming up in the near future.

Not that I need to say this, but if you have any comments or suggestions, please let us know.

Adios.

Scott or Not?

Did anyone else read the cartoon "We Need Roadies" in the Ripsaw this week? Besides the odd yet entertaining humor, there was something else I noticed. The guy next to Al Sparhawk looks strangely a lot like Scott. He's got the hat and the jacket with what might be a star on it. Maria and I were pondering the character yesterday morning. I would post the comic here, but i'm not that savvy with the scanner, and the Ripsaw website seems to be under construction. What's everyone's take on that?

Rudolph rocks.

audio post powered by audblog

O-H-I-O

The short East Coast tour is coming to a close. Tonight we are in Cincinatti, actually we are in Kentucky but just across the river from Cincinatti. We spent the first half of the day driving through snow. The really big-flaked wet snow that you only see a couple times a year. Devendra Banhart was the iPod soundtrack for that portion of the drive and it was well suited. I spent part of the drive writing post cards and part of the drive reading and part of the drive sleeping, ah tour. Hollis has become quite the arist in the last few months. She enjoys drawing kitties, dinosaurs, zombies and purses.

Tonight the club had a caterer come in to make us dinner. The Risotto was pretty good and the tofu was quite yummy. I am not going completely vegetarian but I have made strides to not eat meat lately. W'ell see how long that lasts.

Tomorrow we go to Champaign, Illinois. Then on Sunday we head home to the great lake Gitchee Gumee. How I miss that Lake.

come see my band saturday nite at schooners

it's a benefit for safe-haven women's shelter & duluth clean energy fund put on by mpirg.
here's the line up:
spontaneous combustion
fattypants
ipa
umbrella sequence

$3 @ 9pm-2am

it'll be a real good time

one fine day in the skywalk

This is a story that actually happened five years ago. But this wonderful medium didn't exist then. So I'll tell it now.

I had just moved to Duluth. Actually, I hadn't even moved yet, I was commuting weekly from a large metropolitan area to the south which shall remain nameless. (FYI, the Edgetown Motel had pretty good weekly rates -- $100/week at the time. That's the Edgetown, the David Lynch-y place past Menard's, not the Edgewater.)

Walking throught the skywalk from the DECC towards downtown, a guy passed my and was walking in front of me. There were quite a few people in the skyway. When he got to the end -- where it splits and goes left and right -- he stopped and bent at the waist a little bit. Then laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, he shot a huge glob of snot out onto the floor.

As I stepped around his quivering, semi-opaque pile of goo, I wondered what the hell kind of place I was moving to. Sure, there's only 1 or 2 Taco Bells here, but certainly it was more civilized than this.

Turns out Duluth is just fine. The only other time snot has been flying towards me is because of my kids.

Pittsburgh, PA.

Howdy all.

Seems like a bunch of PDD folks are on the road. Well Low and the Gang is here in Pittsburgh at Mr. Smalls. It is an old church and attached school that was bought by a cool guy for next to nothing. Now it is art space, recording studios, performance space and a nearby skate park. Kind of like a dream for me. Check out their website for more info.

New York was pretty fun but again not much time to do anything. This morning I had a nice walk and some coffee and saw more dogs than I ever knew could live in a big city. Whats with that? Maybe a small poodle or a chihuahua but why would anyone want a big Lab or Shepard? They all shit and piss in the same little squares of grass and generally look out of place. I love New York though and would love to spend a long weekend walking and eating and gettin culture.

Hard to believe we will be home in a couple of days. Heres hoping it snows a foot in Duluth before we get there. I am itching to do some x-c skiing.

Poll Results

What do you want to give the Cheat?

Poll 1:
Golden Shower [3 votes, 3.49%]
Pearl Necklace [5 votes, 5.81%]
A good Pegging [20 votes, 23.26%]
Dirty Sanchez [40 votes, 46.51%]
Rusty Trombone [3 votes, 3.49%]
Dutch OVen [4 votes, 4.65%]
Cleveland Steamer [5 votes, 5.81%]
Hot Carl [2 votes, 2.33%]
Dog in a Bathtub [2 votes, 2.33%]
Coyote [2 votes, 2.33%]

Poll 2:
The "Turkey" [1 vote, 2%]
The "Stuffing" [2 votes, 4%]
The "Cranberry Sauce" [0 votes, 0%]
The "Potatoes with Gravy" [2 votes, 4%]
The "Jello Salad" [8 votes, 16%]
The "Buns" [3 votes, 6%]
The "3-bean Casserole" [4 votes, 8%]
The "Squash" [24 votes, 48%]
The "Spinach Dip and Bread" [1 vote, 2%]
The "Pumpkin Pie" [5 votes, 10%]

Looks like we made it.

Well we are in Jersey City in the shadows of Manhatten. Currently we are sitting in the green room of WFMU, a public radio station that Low will be playing on somewhere in the 7PM Eastern hour. Zak will not be here as he is in LA filming his part in a Steve Martin movie. He is playing a bass player in a rock band. Big stretch I know. Anyway he is flying in tomorrow morning and then the tour really starts.

Our drive was pretty uneventful and I am almost done reading my second book of the tour. The first one was about those MIT students that beat Las Vegas in Blackjack by card counting in teams. Pretty good, who knew there could be so much excitement in card counting. Now I am reading "Lies and the Dirty Liars who tell them" by Al Franken. Just what I needed to get my blood boiling.

After the show we are heading into the city and hopefuly tomorrow will be warm and filled with walking and good food.

p.s. Tim, your answers may soon be answered. Looks like Low will be making their way out west real soon. Details to come.

mmmmm tofuuuuurrrrrkey.

unveiling the delicious tofu loaf. too bad I totally butchered and made a mess of it when carving it.



and a frozen turkey outside.