12.22.2003

Conspiracy Theory

The Orange Alert was instituted by the Christian Right as a last-ditch destraction effort. Obviously dismayed that America's attention is squarely focused on other things rather than King George's heroic capture of Saddam, the suit-wearing Jesus freaks are playing a slight-of-hand trick, using various crimes against humanity to capture our attention while they fight the real menace, a la John Harvey Kellogg.

Perhaps you didn't know: sex ... terrorism ... pretty much equal.

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