Two weeks ago, my sister had a baby. I want to be a good uncle, and I've been reflecting on all the wisdom and inspiration my 5 uncles passed on to me. Here are 38 years of uncle advice distilled into one blog post.
"Don't get between that cow and the barn. She'll crush you."
"That's the clutch, that's the brake, that's the gas. Steer away from the pond."
"Hold on 17, take a hit at 16. Unless the dealer's showing a 3 or something."
"Never start smoking. It's a filthy disgusting habit." Of course he was lighting up at the time.
"You can't win big money if you can't wager big money."
"Want a present? Pull my finger."
"Don't pee on your bandage again. If you do, your dad's fixing it this time."
"Carter was a good president."
"Carter was a horrible president"
"Wedding gifts -- another generation of dust collecting crap."
"Go ahead, get back on that horse. She won't throw you again."
"How 'bout that? That horse really doesn't like you."
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