Even before Duluth has formally seceded, Allen Richardson’s dark horse candidacy has surged into the lead, according to recent unscientific poll numbers.
"The secessionists have Weapons of Mass Affection. Well drop a love bomb on me, sugar. Now that secession fever has gripped Duluth, I’m looking forward to embracing my sovereignty. Maybe that way we can get a few minutes peace and quiet before the inevitable implosion of the empire to the south, the United States of … whatever it was. That’s why I’m voting Allen Richardson of the No Weirdos Party for President of the Free Republic of Duluth."
-Wilhelmena Wilhelmenason, 62
The candidate issued a statement.
"To the edge of the cliff - and beyond! We are the party to take you there. Unstable times demand unstable leadership. My candidacy is prepared to offer you, the free citizens of the Free Republic of Duluth, a non-stop barrage of contradiction and cognitive dissonance, including trials, a space program, coups and counter coups, Hillside named capitol of Duluth, and the secession of the Hillside from Duluth. Now printing currency. The barbarians are at the gate, the psychedelic submarine must submerge. All aboard! Down Periscope! Cocktails all around! Fire torpedos! Dive! Dive! Dive!" - Allen Richardson, No Weirdos Party candidate for President of Free Republic of Duluth
Put the dent back in President – Allen Richardson for Duluth President.
Cabinet Positions now available.
www.freeduluth.com imminent.
Declaration of Independence Planning Party, Saturday Nov. 20, Gonzo Science Headquarters.
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